I’m Not Crazy I Just Stress A Lot

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Stress, we all have it, just some of us don’t know how to cope with it. Raise you hand if you replay over and over in your mind the argument you had with your bestfriend (raises her hand slowly). She was a jerk, you were a jerk, how dare she, what did I do, how can I fix it, she better apologize, friendship terminated….. it all plays over time and again in your mind. Forget the fact it happened 5 hours ago or 5 days ago or a year ago… you stress and worry it into the ground. Your stomach hurts, your heart races, you put on your grouchy pants, you’re distracted…. stress…. yuck. So I ask you, what does your stressed face look like?

Mine apparently is a mix between duck face and puppy dog eyes, scary right? I will be the first to admit that I let things stew inside my girl brain far longer than they should. I take things to heart, I wear said heart on my sleeve. Today is no exception, which is why it should come as no surprise that I found myself at the beginning of a stressed out whirlwind. I am a freelancer, which is sort of a love hate relationship. I love the fact I get to be my own boss, set my own hours, and meet lots and lots of amazing people. The bummer side of things is it’s really hard for me to disengage and sometimes (not very often) I have a client that just rubs me the wrong way. That happened to me today, I went from relaxed and carefree, to attack mode in about 2.3 seconds. Let me tell you I was hot and not in a fun sexy sort of way.

Don’t worry this isn’t where I launch into a rant session about how my client is this or that, to each there own. Poor B she gets to work at home in yoga pants and has a snuggly puppy for a coworker…. no no… nothing like that at all, I really do love my career. This story takes an unusual twist. Incoming stress, resulted in flared emotions, ended with me squashing it. That’s right, I squashed the thought process. Even a year ago I wouldn’t have thought this was possible. I was always a slave to my emotions. If I was angry… I was ANGRY. If I was sad…there weren’t enough tissues in the house. If I was happy… I sparkled like the sun. Every little thing impacted how I felt, until I had my ah hah moment…..

A consistant level of happiness is easily possible when you stop over-thinking and overreacting to everything.

Sure my client really ruffled my duck feathers, but it is what it is. When I felt my blood pressure begin to rise I simply thought to myself, “Nope, it’s not worth it.” Yes I may sound a little crazy talking to myself, but that’s exactly how I handled it. I simply refused to dwell on it and replaced the “growl I will maul your face” reaction with “Oh Chipotle sounds good for lunch” reaction. Here’s my point, you can choose your own thought process. You can either rage/worry/stress/attack/maul someone’s face or you can plan what you will be adding to your burrito bowl. What would you rather think about, delicious yummy heaven in a bowl or some email. I vote for the burrito bowl extra pico. Nommy!

The method I’ve been using to squash my stressing thought process is an easy one. Take a walk with me while I explain. It’s so easy even I can do it, which should tell you something. I call this method the Pretty Pretty Box Process….

  1. Set aside 20 min a day where you can be alone without interruption. (Interruption explained: children, ManFriends, friends, pets, cell phone, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…. you catch my drift) Put everything away so that it’s just you, yourself, and awesomeness.
  2. For the first 10 min stress your face off. That’s right, have a royal stressfest. Let your mind run rabid through all the junk that happened throughout your day. Really just embrace what rubbed you the wrong way. Write it down if that helps.
  3. For the final 10 min put on your rational cap. If there is something you can’t control (i.e. an idiot coworker or traffic jam) let it go. Those sandtrap stressors (defined as situation you can’t fix, change, or control… stressing about them will only cause you to sink lower and lower)  will do nothing but pull you down. If you can’t fix it, forget it. The tangible stressors (defined as something you can actually yourself come in contact with and fix) decide how to take care of them and do it. You can take care of the mountain on laundry overtaking your bathroom… easy peasy… do the laundry. Take care of what you can and forget the rest.
  4. At the end of the 20 min you are back in your relaxed mojo zone. If anything stressy creeps into your mind during non stress time, push them out of your mind and into your Pretty Pretty Box to worry about later. 20 a day, that’s all the stress time you get. If it’s not that 20 min period, wash it away. Think about a funny joke, dinner, ponies… I don’t care think about anything other than worry and stress.

I went from a chronic stressed out worry wart, to fairly chilled out. It’s still a daily training process. We are incredible creatures able to transform before our own eyes. Make it one day leading a less stressed life and I’m sure you will be hooked. Destress bit by bit, no one wants wrinkles or gray before their time. Smile lovelies, you are do this. What stresses you out the most?

As always until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

Dream A Little Dream…

Dream a little dream

Cinderella had them, The Little Mermaid had them, and so did every other princess in the history of princesses. They all, despite their flaws and setbacks, were courageous enough to dream. If a fairytale character made up of pastel colors and damsel in distress syndrome can do it, so can you. I dare you to dream a little dream…

Somewhere between being a little girl playing dress up in our mother’s high heals and being the bill paying adult, a little bit of the magic got lost. The world around us lost some of the wondrous amazement that kept us up as children, wondering about the stars and the creatures that go bump in the night. With the magic drained, we sometimes forget the beauty in a color packed sunset and the faith held within our deepest dreams. Dreams, the little butterflies that fly around our heart lifting us up into a place of hope and faith. A dream is a wish your heart makes….

What does your heart want? Yes the day to day can sometimes serve as a distraction, but underneath all of the ho hum, is the familiar flutter of your dreams. Forget about the bills, the deadlines, and what’s for dinner. For just a moment think about the dreams for your life. What makes your heart go pitter patter in a silly way? What image in your mind brings a lopsided 3 year old smile to your perfectly glossed lips?

Those dreams aren’t just child’s play, they are the building blocks of our future. Dreams serve to navigate us along the waters of happiness and energy. They help to remind us that even in moments of darkness, there is still light shinning from within us. Dreams complete the core of our beings, tied together with morals and substance. We are all at our center, dreamers. Dreamers, go getters, laughers, dancers, hardworkers…. we are all so very unique… but in so many regards we are all the same. We all just want to be happy.

What do your dreams say to you? Do you long for a lake to paint by or a corner office with an assistant named Jeeves? Embrace these dreams and use them as your map. You may not have exactly what your dreams blueprints require, but live your life piecing together that blueprint. It takes one spark, one line, one piece to get started. Don’t bottle your dreams up and put them on a shelf to be forgotten. Open them up and allow them to take form one magical moment at a time. Don’t expect instant gratification, I’m not selling you “Insta-Dream” just add water and stir…..poof dream realization. Enjoy the journey, live your dreams, share your warmth. If you’re willing to open up to your dreams, you dreams will be able to open up to you.

I want to encourage you to keep little notes, sketches, pictures, however your brain works, of your dreams. Maybe you long to own a house with stables, so you use EverNote to compile the perfect horse stables. Perhaps start a collection of recipes for when you open your cafe. Set aside even $1 dollar a day for your dream vacation to Ireland. Every step, every moment, will bring you one step closer to realizing your dreams. You can have whatever your heart desires if you are truly willing to embrace and move towards that dream. Dreams aren’t handed to us with a brightly colored bow, they are embraced and worked towards. The great thing is, when it comes to dreams, the “work” part is half the fun.

I would love to know what some of your dreams are, share in the comments.

As always until next time….

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

You Are What You Think

I’m sitting in my office staring out into a chilly, but beautifully sunshiny day. I could focus on the windchill or I could focus on the brilliant blue sky and bright ball of glowing sunshine. You see, this is a choice each of us are faced with each and every day. Is it windchill you focus on or the brilliant blue?

Life has a funny way of forcing us to look at each moment with either rose colored glasses or dark and stormy thunder clouds. What I feel we most often forget is, life is truly created by the choices we make. We are how we think. If you allow dark and stormy to rain on the parade of thoughts within you head, the world around you will have the same ongoing downpour. However, if you opt to imagine the world as a brilliant sparkling diamond, the world around you becomes a fantastic glimmer of light and warmth. The brilliant thing about light and dark, is that we all posses the choice. The choice to decide on the world we live in.

Truth be told no matter how much you try, you will never be able to control anything outside of yourself. You can’t micromanage others into the perfect happy bubble. Just like you can’t live a life of dancing and laughter if you brain is consumed with negative thinking vomit. That’s exactly what negative and controlling thoughts are, vomit. Vile acidy tidbits of nothing that seep through our thoughts tarnishing the good and corroding everything into a giant melting pot of upheaval. If you take away nothing else from this blogvice remember this, negative breeds negative and positive breeds positive. You’ve heard the saying, you are what you eat, I say… you are exactly what you think.

The bad, goodness knows that negative thought fairy is all around. Your car gets a flat tire, you get laid-off, your niece spills fruit punch down your favorite sweater, or your ManFriend is watching ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ for the 1,928 time this week. The negative fairy dancing on your shoulder is going to tell you that your day is destroyed because of that stupid flat tire. She’s going to tell you that you’re an ultimate failure because your boss let you go and not the nitwit three cubicles down. She’ll say that children are the spawns of satan because not even dry-cleaning will knock out that juice stain. She might even get your annoyed to the point of picking a fight with your ManFriend for having the nerve to mellow out and watch the same movie AGAIN. In short…. Negative Nancy Fairy is a twit who starts drama, kick her little fairy butt to the curb.

Now Penelope the Positive  Thought Fairy is a sassy diva. She’s all smiles and flies around trying to catch your eye with her sparkle, so that you ignore that other fairy. Penelope the Positive Thought Fairy leaves a trail of warmth and sparkle in her wake. She sees the flat tire as an opportunity to push up those sleeves and take charge or as a great reason to see ManFriend again before the work day begins. Flat tire + One more good morning kiss = perfection. She’ll remind you that a layoff is a brilliant opportunity to stretch your legs and see what other adventures are out there for you. She helps you see your niece as beautiful and amazing. She’s not perfect… but your life is truly a better place with her in it. You can buy a new sweater, but little kiddos are priceless. She will show you that ManFriend treats you well and bless his heart he likes to watch the same thing over again, what a perfect time to curl up with him and recite your favorite parts. In short, Penelope the Positive Fairy is your BFF, hold onto this one, she’s a keeper.

The truth is negativity weighs us down. It invades our thoughts forcing us to live in the past or the future. By doing this we aren’t enjoying what is happening right before our eyes. Worry, negativity, doubt, fear… they are all simply distractions. Distractions that you can choose to ignore. Sure it may sound like a daunting task, but truth be told it is really an exiting adventure. A way for you to live your life like a dance party instead of like a never ending lecture.  The choice is yours, shall you dance or shall you sit in a lecture of worry?

You are the queen of your thoughts, you direct your attention… so choose to focus on the amazing. It is a beautiful day outside, the sun in shining and the sky is a spectacular shade of blue. Find the good, forget the bad. Remember, our world is created by our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate our actions. Everything around you has good within it, look for it. Fill your head with so much love and positivity that you walk on cloud 9 each and everyday. If you feel a negative though creep into your mind, quickly replace it with something brilliant. Would you rather worry yourself into frown lines or tone that butt by dancing and your abs by laughing? Replace no no thoughts, with anything warm and fuzzy. Tell yourself you are amazing, remind yourself of a kind act you completed, laugh because laughter feeds the soul. You are the author of your story, create words that inspire not only others, but yourself. Be your biggest inspiration… and that begins with finding the good and positive in even the most trying situations.

Create the world your heart desires.

As always, until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

 

Heck No Boring, Hello Mission Fun! Who’s With Me?

Ladies, I am on a mission, and I want to drag you along for the ride. That’s right I want you to be my partner in crime because that’s what sassy gal pals do. We tag right along for all adventures without a second thought. Us women, we have to stick together.

Who’s with me….

That not so ravishing creature above is me, not all the time, but when I think about my impending birthday (psssst the big 3—–0) I turn into a hot ugly crying mess. Sure sure it starts out innocently enough as I glance at the calendar in my office or the date on my phone. Then my basic math skills taught to me by my evil 3rd grade teacher kick in, revealing the number of days left in my 20’s. This is when the panic while rocking in the fetal position comes into play. In short… I lose my ever loving mind.

After choking back the ugly tears and bubbling nose goo (you know it’s not just me), I came to a realization. It’s not so much the number *cough**couch* 30 that terrifies me, it’s the negative imagery that I associate with that specific number. To me 30=adulthood and adulthood=lame-o-ville. Now don’t get me wrong I’m a responsible gal, I’m not afraid of being a “big girl”…. I’m afraid of being boring. I don’t want to wake up the morning of my 30th birthday and suddenly only be able to talk about stocks and pot roast. Translation, “I don’t want to grow up, I wanna be a toys-r-us kid”.

I don’t want to wake up, work, eat, sit on the couch, sleep… Rinse and repeat. NO! I don’t want to stop having fun no matter how many years I’ve been dancing around on the Earth. I want to pay the electric bill, but I want to do it while dancing around in my underwear singing off key to a hairbrush. I want to buy groceries, but I want to start a game of tag in the middle of the produce isle, TAG you’re it. I will even gladly wait in line at the dreaded DMV, but I just might smile and spark up random conversation with those waiting in the never ending line along side me. To continue my thought from yesterday, growing up doesn’t have to mean growing boring. We are as exciting and full of life as we choose to be.

Trust me ladies if I had a magic wand I could wave to make my thighs smaller (like they use to be) and my boobs perkier (like they use to be), I would. Not only would I use that magic wand, I would share it with all of you, because I’m a giver like that. Alas, I’m wandless… But I’m not without a fun idea. Perhaps fun is an understatement, I’m thinking it’s on the verge of quirky. Quirky on the verge of Fantastic. Fantastic on the verge of… You know you want to do this…. Allow me to explain.

I found this list of To Do’s circulating around social media world and I found myself wanting to do them, why? Why not! I tweaked the list a little and came up with 7 funny to do items. Are there at least 6 other adventurous souls out there who would want to take on at least one of these silly To Do items with me?

 

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Mission Fun To Do List:

  1. Pick one (at least) to do list item (see above)
  2. Post down in the comments what to do list item you are taking on
  3. Record or otherwise document completion of said to do list item
  4. Let’s all link up to share in the humor

Honestly life is too short to be lived boring. Who wants to have some fun with me? Anyone, anyone? Join in, in the comments.

As always, until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

Almost 30 Life Crisis: Your First Time

When is the last time you did something for the first time?

I read this question last night and it totally stumped me… the last time I did something for the first time was…. Scratch head… um… I can’t tell you. I live in a bit of a boring world of routine. You can pretty much set your watch (do people still wear watches?) to what I’m doing and when. I consider it reliable, grounded and expected. Routine, that’s what adults do. We are responsible and predictable and… oh my gosh I’m so boring. When did I trade in fun and exciting for boring and repetitive?

I love the people in my life. I’m dating an amazing man who has a fantastic daughter, I have wonderful friends and a little boy that amazes me every single day. Life is good, but I’m in a bit of a rut. I’ve become an old fuddy duddy. You may as well heat up a TV dinner, serve it to me on a TV tray, sit me in front of Wheel of Fortune and then push me off to bed before the clock strikes 7. I’m 29 going on 90.

It’s time for some revamp… the question is, when is the last time you did something for the first time?

 

How many more firsts can I squeeze into a day, a week, a month? Heck how many more firsts can I have in the next hour? You know that feeling when you heart rate picks up, you’re all smiles and you can sit still you are so giddy? I encourage you all to embrace your inner giddy, squeeze as many firsts and exciting things into every moment as you can. We can do the boring ole big kid stuff while having a total blast. Growing up doesn’t mean giving up our ability to have fun while doing it.

 

As always until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

Bonus Blog, Puppy Love

Bonus Blog….perhaps Bloglit, YIPPEE!!!! Because who can resist a chance to talk about all things furbabies.

 

 

Pets Are People Too linkup, hosted by Jade and Oak and Karly Kim, seemed like the perfect opportunity to share a little of my puppy love. When ManFriend and I moved in together I got a “pet by association”, an adorable bundle of fluffy, Guinness. That’s right, it just so happens that this 11 year old powder puff happens to share the name of only the best beer ever created. So undoubtedly. It was love at first sight.

Since I work from home, I get lonely… And pretty dog gone bored. However, I’m lucky to have the most adorable coworker in the entire world. He doesn’t steal my lunch (very often), he keeps me warm on cold winter days (without being a perv) and he makes sure life doesn’t get boring (bark bark bark UPS Guy attack!!!). I’m thankful to have such a fantastic little furbaby to call mine by association.

Ready for the awe moments? Okay… Here we go…. (then I should probably get back to work… Oops)…

Life Lessons brought to you by Guinness

Resting BabySometimes you have to cover your face with an alligator and forget the world for a little bit.

Hard workerWork hard… but take naps, beauty sleep is a must.

PinkReal men wear pink.

 

As always until next time….

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

 

 

 

 

 

Life Lesson Learned From the Pizza Guy

First and probably most importantly, pizza is freaking delicious. Second hamburger and black olives were born to be together and make lots and lots of pizza babies. That is one of the major contributing factors to my jeans fitting a little bit to snugly. Pizza and Mexican food….why couldn’t I have been blessed with a salad obsession. Sigh, anyway moving on….

So last night my favorite 7 year old gal pal and I had a girls night in. With the men folk out doing man folk things we had full control of the remote…. Winning. Since I am mildly phobic of germs and with flu season in full up swing, we opted to take advantage of some much needed couch time. So I ordered pizza and fired up the good ole Netflix machine.

An hour later there is a knock at the door. I answer wearing yoga pants, teal cami, and gray boyfriend sweater. Truth be told, not my hottest moment, but very very comfy. Comfy is my best friend this winter, I will worry about shaved legs and bikini bottoms in 6 months. So for now, bring on wool socks and yoga tights.

(This may be how I imagined the event below unfolding.)

I open the door to an awkward cold looking pizza guy (writers imagination cast Channing Tatum in the role of the pizza guy), his jaw drops to the snowy porch. “Woah you’re gorgeous,” he says reaching out the receipt for me to sign. I smile sign the slip and thank the nice man, pizza and flattery what great service. He replies, “No thank you, you’re smile made my night.” I was both flattered and inspired by my favorite pizza delivery guy ever. Compliments… Where have they gone?

We’ve become a society of judgy faces. “Look at that girl wearing those pants…omg.” “I can’t believe that guys said that.” “Ugh, did you see that, judgy judgy judgy face!” How fun is this? Let me answer for you, it’s not. Judgy face does not a friend make….but compliments can easily make someone’s year. Seriously, think about.

When is the last time you gave someone a compliment? Next question on our compliment quiz, when’s the last time you gave a stranger a compliment? We’ve developed such a critical eye towards ourselves and others, I feel like we are missing the little things in life. It takes about 2 seconds to tell a stranger, “Great shoes.” How about even a simple, “Thanks so much I really appreciate it,” when someone holds the door for you. It’s not hard, it’s rather easy. Say nice things or smile, you never know what kind of day someone else is having.

That brings me to my next point, you never truly know what is going on in the lives of those around you. That crabby lady that you mumbled under your breath about, maybe her dog died. The screaming kid in the grocery cart that forced you to avoid the cereal isle, maybe he has a double ear infection. The cashier who didn’t talk to you during your checkout time, maybe she’s fighting with her father. You never know, so aim to brighten up the day of those around you. Smile, give compliments freely, and try to keep the judgy face to a minimum.

I could easily pass judgment on someone, that takes little to no effort, but compliments take a little courage. Random acts of kindness people, if I can do it being a bit bashful, so can you. Today I encourage you to give one random person you don’t know a compliment. Just one simple, “hey you’re awesome”, sort of comment to a complete stranger. Then carry this mission with you home or when you go out with friends this weekend. Tell those you love how much they mean to you or how great they look. Spread the love and leave your judgy face for another day.

You mission if you choose to except it, spread a little warm and fuzzy this weekend.

As always until next time,

Keep it Sassy & Classy,