I’m Not Crazy I Just Stress A Lot

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Stress, we all have it, just some of us don’t know how to cope with it. Raise you hand if you replay over and over in your mind the argument you had with your bestfriend (raises her hand slowly). She was a jerk, you were a jerk, how dare she, what did I do, how can I fix it, she better apologize, friendship terminated….. it all plays over time and again in your mind. Forget the fact it happened 5 hours ago or 5 days ago or a year ago… you stress and worry it into the ground. Your stomach hurts, your heart races, you put on your grouchy pants, you’re distracted…. stress…. yuck. So I ask you, what does your stressed face look like?

Mine apparently is a mix between duck face and puppy dog eyes, scary right? I will be the first to admit that I let things stew inside my girl brain far longer than they should. I take things to heart, I wear said heart on my sleeve. Today is no exception, which is why it should come as no surprise that I found myself at the beginning of a stressed out whirlwind. I am a freelancer, which is sort of a love hate relationship. I love the fact I get to be my own boss, set my own hours, and meet lots and lots of amazing people. The bummer side of things is it’s really hard for me to disengage and sometimes (not very often) I have a client that just rubs me the wrong way. That happened to me today, I went from relaxed and carefree, to attack mode in about 2.3 seconds. Let me tell you I was hot and not in a fun sexy sort of way.

Don’t worry this isn’t where I launch into a rant session about how my client is this or that, to each there own. Poor B she gets to work at home in yoga pants and has a snuggly puppy for a coworker…. no no… nothing like that at all, I really do love my career. This story takes an unusual twist. Incoming stress, resulted in flared emotions, ended with me squashing it. That’s right, I squashed the thought process. Even a year ago I wouldn’t have thought this was possible. I was always a slave to my emotions. If I was angry… I was ANGRY. If I was sad…there weren’t enough tissues in the house. If I was happy… I sparkled like the sun. Every little thing impacted how I felt, until I had my ah hah moment…..

A consistant level of happiness is easily possible when you stop over-thinking and overreacting to everything.

Sure my client really ruffled my duck feathers, but it is what it is. When I felt my blood pressure begin to rise I simply thought to myself, “Nope, it’s not worth it.” Yes I may sound a little crazy talking to myself, but that’s exactly how I handled it. I simply refused to dwell on it and replaced the “growl I will maul your face” reaction with “Oh Chipotle sounds good for lunch” reaction. Here’s my point, you can choose your own thought process. You can either rage/worry/stress/attack/maul someone’s face or you can plan what you will be adding to your burrito bowl. What would you rather think about, delicious yummy heaven in a bowl or some email. I vote for the burrito bowl extra pico. Nommy!

The method I’ve been using to squash my stressing thought process is an easy one. Take a walk with me while I explain. It’s so easy even I can do it, which should tell you something. I call this method the Pretty Pretty Box Process….

  1. Set aside 20 min a day where you can be alone without interruption. (Interruption explained: children, ManFriends, friends, pets, cell phone, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…. you catch my drift) Put everything away so that it’s just you, yourself, and awesomeness.
  2. For the first 10 min stress your face off. That’s right, have a royal stressfest. Let your mind run rabid through all the junk that happened throughout your day. Really just embrace what rubbed you the wrong way. Write it down if that helps.
  3. For the final 10 min put on your rational cap. If there is something you can’t control (i.e. an idiot coworker or traffic jam) let it go. Those sandtrap stressors (defined as situation you can’t fix, change, or control… stressing about them will only cause you to sink lower and lower)  will do nothing but pull you down. If you can’t fix it, forget it. The tangible stressors (defined as something you can actually yourself come in contact with and fix) decide how to take care of them and do it. You can take care of the mountain on laundry overtaking your bathroom… easy peasy… do the laundry. Take care of what you can and forget the rest.
  4. At the end of the 20 min you are back in your relaxed mojo zone. If anything stressy creeps into your mind during non stress time, push them out of your mind and into your Pretty Pretty Box to worry about later. 20 a day, that’s all the stress time you get. If it’s not that 20 min period, wash it away. Think about a funny joke, dinner, ponies… I don’t care think about anything other than worry and stress.

I went from a chronic stressed out worry wart, to fairly chilled out. It’s still a daily training process. We are incredible creatures able to transform before our own eyes. Make it one day leading a less stressed life and I’m sure you will be hooked. Destress bit by bit, no one wants wrinkles or gray before their time. Smile lovelies, you are do this. What stresses you out the most?

As always until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

Almost 30 Life Crisis: Your First Time

When is the last time you did something for the first time?

I read this question last night and it totally stumped me… the last time I did something for the first time was…. Scratch head… um… I can’t tell you. I live in a bit of a boring world of routine. You can pretty much set your watch (do people still wear watches?) to what I’m doing and when. I consider it reliable, grounded and expected. Routine, that’s what adults do. We are responsible and predictable and… oh my gosh I’m so boring. When did I trade in fun and exciting for boring and repetitive?

I love the people in my life. I’m dating an amazing man who has a fantastic daughter, I have wonderful friends and a little boy that amazes me every single day. Life is good, but I’m in a bit of a rut. I’ve become an old fuddy duddy. You may as well heat up a TV dinner, serve it to me on a TV tray, sit me in front of Wheel of Fortune and then push me off to bed before the clock strikes 7. I’m 29 going on 90.

It’s time for some revamp… the question is, when is the last time you did something for the first time?

 

How many more firsts can I squeeze into a day, a week, a month? Heck how many more firsts can I have in the next hour? You know that feeling when you heart rate picks up, you’re all smiles and you can sit still you are so giddy? I encourage you all to embrace your inner giddy, squeeze as many firsts and exciting things into every moment as you can. We can do the boring ole big kid stuff while having a total blast. Growing up doesn’t mean giving up our ability to have fun while doing it.

 

As always until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

Life Lesson Learned From the Pizza Guy

First and probably most importantly, pizza is freaking delicious. Second hamburger and black olives were born to be together and make lots and lots of pizza babies. That is one of the major contributing factors to my jeans fitting a little bit to snugly. Pizza and Mexican food….why couldn’t I have been blessed with a salad obsession. Sigh, anyway moving on….

So last night my favorite 7 year old gal pal and I had a girls night in. With the men folk out doing man folk things we had full control of the remote…. Winning. Since I am mildly phobic of germs and with flu season in full up swing, we opted to take advantage of some much needed couch time. So I ordered pizza and fired up the good ole Netflix machine.

An hour later there is a knock at the door. I answer wearing yoga pants, teal cami, and gray boyfriend sweater. Truth be told, not my hottest moment, but very very comfy. Comfy is my best friend this winter, I will worry about shaved legs and bikini bottoms in 6 months. So for now, bring on wool socks and yoga tights.

(This may be how I imagined the event below unfolding.)

I open the door to an awkward cold looking pizza guy (writers imagination cast Channing Tatum in the role of the pizza guy), his jaw drops to the snowy porch. “Woah you’re gorgeous,” he says reaching out the receipt for me to sign. I smile sign the slip and thank the nice man, pizza and flattery what great service. He replies, “No thank you, you’re smile made my night.” I was both flattered and inspired by my favorite pizza delivery guy ever. Compliments… Where have they gone?

We’ve become a society of judgy faces. “Look at that girl wearing those pants…omg.” “I can’t believe that guys said that.” “Ugh, did you see that, judgy judgy judgy face!” How fun is this? Let me answer for you, it’s not. Judgy face does not a friend make….but compliments can easily make someone’s year. Seriously, think about.

When is the last time you gave someone a compliment? Next question on our compliment quiz, when’s the last time you gave a stranger a compliment? We’ve developed such a critical eye towards ourselves and others, I feel like we are missing the little things in life. It takes about 2 seconds to tell a stranger, “Great shoes.” How about even a simple, “Thanks so much I really appreciate it,” when someone holds the door for you. It’s not hard, it’s rather easy. Say nice things or smile, you never know what kind of day someone else is having.

That brings me to my next point, you never truly know what is going on in the lives of those around you. That crabby lady that you mumbled under your breath about, maybe her dog died. The screaming kid in the grocery cart that forced you to avoid the cereal isle, maybe he has a double ear infection. The cashier who didn’t talk to you during your checkout time, maybe she’s fighting with her father. You never know, so aim to brighten up the day of those around you. Smile, give compliments freely, and try to keep the judgy face to a minimum.

I could easily pass judgment on someone, that takes little to no effort, but compliments take a little courage. Random acts of kindness people, if I can do it being a bit bashful, so can you. Today I encourage you to give one random person you don’t know a compliment. Just one simple, “hey you’re awesome”, sort of comment to a complete stranger. Then carry this mission with you home or when you go out with friends this weekend. Tell those you love how much they mean to you or how great they look. Spread the love and leave your judgy face for another day.

You mission if you choose to except it, spread a little warm and fuzzy this weekend.

As always until next time,

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

Almost 30 Life Crisis

And blog hiatus… End scene.

From my beautiful part of the world to yours, Happy New Year! I know I’m a little behind, but better late than never I always say. At least I say that whenever I forget something of importance. I promise I have a good reason for going awol. Maybe you can relate.

I can sheepishly admit that I am timidly knock knock knocking at 30s door. About this time next month I will be leaving the feisty world of my 20s and stepping into the unknown world of my 30s. To say I’m terrified and a bit sick to my stomach would be an extreme understatement. This “Almost 30 Life Crisis” caused me to spend the last couple of weeks looking, relooking, and looking yet again at my life.

Oh my gosh… Now what do I do?

Just me? It can’t just be me standing in front of a mirror with a major life milestone looming ahead with a look of sheer terror on her face. I’m not alone in this, how have I spent my last almost 30 years and what do I want to do with my next 30 year moment am I? Seriously someone say they are or have been in this position before or I might just cry into my coffee… Yes coffee at 1:15pm, that should tell you the kind of day I’m having. Coffee….coffee….coffee….

I remember thinking 30 was ancient, saying things like, “When I’m old, you know like 30, I’m going to blah blah blah.” I wish I had a time machine to go back to that clueless 15 year old and smack her upside the head. I can say that “young” little girl I once was has spent her time up to now living a scared life. I follow the straight and narrow, never venturing off the sidewalk, because I don’t want to risk getting hurt. I live a life surrounded by mile high walls that even prince charming himself couldn’t climb. These 29 years have been spent running around like Chicken Little…. The sky is falling… The sky is falling…run for your lives.

Upon reflection, I’m tired of the feathers, I’m ready to strut my stuff. It surprises me how easily I can admit that I’m clueless at 29. I could let that scare me, or I can grasp this opportunity to reinvent myself. Isn’t that what life is about, reinvention, making things new again? I don’t think age determines reinvention, reinvesting, or recommitting.

Reinvention: You, like me, are a work in progress… Never ever make apologies for that. If you still have a breath in your chest and thump in your heart, you can change. If you were blessed enough to wake up this morning, you have the strength inside you to make a new difference in your life and the lives of those around you. Don’t wait, look within your heart and find out what sets your soul on fire. Reinvent the old into something new and wondrous. You are never trapped, you have the freedom to be exactly who you create.

Reinvesting: Invest in yourself again. You are a hot commodity and you above everyone else needs to know that. Take time for you, even if only a few moments a day. Workout, meditate, paint, cook, write, dance, sing off key… I don’t care what you do, but do something each day for just yourself. If you love to take long showers, embrace the high water bill and become a mermaid. If you like to shake your groove thing in the kitchen download some new recipes. Whatever it is that you like to do, do it for YOU. If you aren’t investing in yourself, you won’t be able to invest in others.

Recommit: Commit to loving yourself and those around you to the fullest every single day. Each day, each second, is such a blessing. Love yourself for the amazing traits and for the works in progress. Forgive yourself of past mistakes and become excited for the moment you are living. Free yourself from OCD stressful planning, and leave a little bit open to the imagination. Love those around you with your entire heart and remember to forgive easily. Lashing out at people you car about only isolates those we love from one another. Embrace the unique differences we all have and treasure those moments. Laugh with each other, support one another, and again most importantly forgive one another. Together, don’t sweat the small stuff. Life has a funny way of working out when we stop trying to make it work out.

So, I guess… Welcome to my almost 30 life crises. It’s nice to have you along for the ride.

As always until next time,

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

The Grinch That Stole Christmas

Warning….warning….warning… this may or may not be considered a venting tangent soapbox standing type of blog post. Ordinarily I try to post all gumdrops and rainbows, but today this blogger is so on fire she’s a flippin’ inferno.

Deep breath… with that said I would like to tell you a story.

This is a story of an adorable little 6 year old named G Man.

Gman

All holiday season long G Man had looked forward to Christmas shopping for his favorite people. His mommy ….

B and Gman

wanted to take him to mall or big box store to find his gifts to give, but little G Man begged to shop online like the “big kids” do. So being a sucker for big hazel eye and a heart of gold, his mommy said okay and the two settled in for G Man’s first online shopping adventure. The two went to a very popular online retailer where his mommy had placed orders in the past with great success. G man learned how to navigate the website, asked for help spelling the “big” words (hellocaptar, didn’t pull up many items for him), and “all by his own” he chose gifts for his loved ones. Each gift having a special meaning behind it.

A sparkly tiara for Little Miss, “Because mom she’s a princess to me.” (insert a big awwwww here)

A remote control helicopter for ManFriend, “Because he’s always wanted to learn to fly and now I can make that happen for him.” (big heart party of one)

A metal sign about staying to fish awhile for B&B, “Because they like to fish with me and when I’m there I know they really want me there.” (B&B own land with a lake, G Man could spend hours on the lake quietly waiting for a bite)

The order was placed and each day G Man asked his mommy when his gifts would arrive so he could wrap them. His mother encouraged him to take a breath, that his gifts would arrive soon and he could wrap them himself. Another first for this overly excited, full of the Christmas spirit, 6 year old. Unbeknownst to this cheerful duo, all was not well in online-ordering-land. In fact there was an evil Grinch lurking around swiping up little boy’s Christmas gifts. This Grinch was the online retailer….

Without warning the online retailer had “oops” (their words) “lost the package in transit”. Though online records show the gifts never left online-retailer-warehouse-ville .Now this fact alone was upsetting, but it ruffled the mom’s tail feathers that no one from the town of online retailer had bothered to email, call, smoke signal, Harry Potter Owl, or anything else to notify her that the Christmas joy had been nabbed. They simply wanted to shrug their shoulders and offer a $10 voucher towards their next purchase. Clever Grinch, steal a 6  year old’s Christmas and then ask him back again…. I don’t think so.

And that story my friends bring us up to today, when this mommy is one stressed out cookie….. so much so I’ve turned into a cartoon villain. (llamaface… name that movie)

So here I sit, stress blogging and dreading picking up G Man from school at 3pm. He’s going to be devastated. There simply isn’t enough Diet Coke on the planet to salvage this day. My little dude is a softy, he has such a kind heart, and he won’t understand. Plus this lady right here, with the fingers flying across the keyboard, feels like a big fat liar. Why? Because I promised him we could wrap those presents tonight, yup mom of the year right here.

Now I know we can try to go find those gifts in store, but you see, it’s the fact he did this “all by his own”. He felt like a big kid, doing big kid things. I just hate disappointing the little golden heart. Sigh. Well that’s my day, how’s yours?

As always, until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig