I’m Not Crazy I Just Stress A Lot

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Stress, we all have it, just some of us don’t know how to cope with it. Raise you hand if you replay over and over in your mind the argument you had with your bestfriend (raises her hand slowly). She was a jerk, you were a jerk, how dare she, what did I do, how can I fix it, she better apologize, friendship terminated….. it all plays over time and again in your mind. Forget the fact it happened 5 hours ago or 5 days ago or a year ago… you stress and worry it into the ground. Your stomach hurts, your heart races, you put on your grouchy pants, you’re distracted…. stress…. yuck. So I ask you, what does your stressed face look like?

Mine apparently is a mix between duck face and puppy dog eyes, scary right? I will be the first to admit that I let things stew inside my girl brain far longer than they should. I take things to heart, I wear said heart on my sleeve. Today is no exception, which is why it should come as no surprise that I found myself at the beginning of a stressed out whirlwind. I am a freelancer, which is sort of a love hate relationship. I love the fact I get to be my own boss, set my own hours, and meet lots and lots of amazing people. The bummer side of things is it’s really hard for me to disengage and sometimes (not very often) I have a client that just rubs me the wrong way. That happened to me today, I went from relaxed and carefree, to attack mode in about 2.3 seconds. Let me tell you I was hot and not in a fun sexy sort of way.

Don’t worry this isn’t where I launch into a rant session about how my client is this or that, to each there own. Poor B she gets to work at home in yoga pants and has a snuggly puppy for a coworker…. no no… nothing like that at all, I really do love my career. This story takes an unusual twist. Incoming stress, resulted in flared emotions, ended with me squashing it. That’s right, I squashed the thought process. Even a year ago I wouldn’t have thought this was possible. I was always a slave to my emotions. If I was angry… I was ANGRY. If I was sad…there weren’t enough tissues in the house. If I was happy… I sparkled like the sun. Every little thing impacted how I felt, until I had my ah hah moment…..

A consistant level of happiness is easily possible when you stop over-thinking and overreacting to everything.

Sure my client really ruffled my duck feathers, but it is what it is. When I felt my blood pressure begin to rise I simply thought to myself, “Nope, it’s not worth it.” Yes I may sound a little crazy talking to myself, but that’s exactly how I handled it. I simply refused to dwell on it and replaced the “growl I will maul your face” reaction with “Oh Chipotle sounds good for lunch” reaction. Here’s my point, you can choose your own thought process. You can either rage/worry/stress/attack/maul someone’s face or you can plan what you will be adding to your burrito bowl. What would you rather think about, delicious yummy heaven in a bowl or some email. I vote for the burrito bowl extra pico. Nommy!

The method I’ve been using to squash my stressing thought process is an easy one. Take a walk with me while I explain. It’s so easy even I can do it, which should tell you something. I call this method the Pretty Pretty Box Process….

  1. Set aside 20 min a day where you can be alone without interruption. (Interruption explained: children, ManFriends, friends, pets, cell phone, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…. you catch my drift) Put everything away so that it’s just you, yourself, and awesomeness.
  2. For the first 10 min stress your face off. That’s right, have a royal stressfest. Let your mind run rabid through all the junk that happened throughout your day. Really just embrace what rubbed you the wrong way. Write it down if that helps.
  3. For the final 10 min put on your rational cap. If there is something you can’t control (i.e. an idiot coworker or traffic jam) let it go. Those sandtrap stressors (defined as situation you can’t fix, change, or control… stressing about them will only cause you to sink lower and lower)  will do nothing but pull you down. If you can’t fix it, forget it. The tangible stressors (defined as something you can actually yourself come in contact with and fix) decide how to take care of them and do it. You can take care of the mountain on laundry overtaking your bathroom… easy peasy… do the laundry. Take care of what you can and forget the rest.
  4. At the end of the 20 min you are back in your relaxed mojo zone. If anything stressy creeps into your mind during non stress time, push them out of your mind and into your Pretty Pretty Box to worry about later. 20 a day, that’s all the stress time you get. If it’s not that 20 min period, wash it away. Think about a funny joke, dinner, ponies… I don’t care think about anything other than worry and stress.

I went from a chronic stressed out worry wart, to fairly chilled out. It’s still a daily training process. We are incredible creatures able to transform before our own eyes. Make it one day leading a less stressed life and I’m sure you will be hooked. Destress bit by bit, no one wants wrinkles or gray before their time. Smile lovelies, you are do this. What stresses you out the most?

As always until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

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If You’re Happy And You Know It

I would like everyone to raise their glasses, mugs, wine glasses, milk cartons, pints, whatever you have to SECOND CHANCES. I stand…. Er… sit before you a woman on a new found mission to make changes to help bring about B 2.0.

Let’s talk about our ATTITUDE people, what type of person are you?

The ho hum thanks for noticing me and the giant black cumulonimbus cloud floating above my head pelting me in the eye with hail and rain.  A.K.A “The Debbie Downer”

OR

The it’s my way or no way, here is the plan, this is how we are going to do things, listen to me… yeah you listen to me. HEY HEY I’m in charge here. Control, control, control AHHHHHH! (Inset hair pulling out here.) A.K.A “The Control Freak”

OR

The Hi my name is…. Oh butterfly… that’s shinny…..I like chocolate….. dinner was yummy….BUNNY bouncy bouncy bouncy…. wait, what was I talking about? A.K.A “The Space Cadet”

OR Last But Not least …. Drum roll please

The what a beautiful sunshiny day, there isn’t a care in the world and everything is going my way. Whatever comes will come and I will continue to roll with the punches. Life is good, sunshine!  A.K.A “The Smiley”

So… which one or ones are you. Me? I’m The Control Freak with a sprinkling of The Debbie Downer and a dash of The Smiley…. Translation…. Not exactly the type of gal I want to be. SO, it’s time for a wee bit of reinventing.

Attitude truly does make all the difference in the world and I am living that right now. I’ve had a bit of a tude / control issue over the past few months and it’s getting me nowhere fast. So I started doing some soul searching, pulling way down deep into my toes. Then it hit me. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a workout, dating, marriage, dealing with the kiddos, baking a cake or walking Fluffy, your attitude is such a vital determining factor. It is in fact what people remember about you…..think about that for a second.  How does your attitude impact those around you and the things you do?

If you wake up in the morning grouching, grump your entire way to the gym, kick the treadmill because IT made you trip over your own running shoes, snap at the customer service rep leaving the gym who wished you a good day, flipped off the old lady who was driving to slow in the fast lane AND yelled at your Boyfriend for breathing in the same room as you ALL before 8 am… what sort of day are you going to have? What sort of day are you encouraging other people to have?

First of all, you woke up. That is a fantastic start to any morning, I’ve never not woken up in the morning, but I would assume that would be a pretty big drag. So paint on your smile if you have to and get your bootie out in the world all happy like!

Second the gym is a chance to embrace the body you want and reach the goals you’ve set, this is time to fill your head with motivation. There isn’t room for Negative Nancy Talk here. Either pump yourself up with music and words OR recite every digit of pi (3.1415926535), NO MATTER WHAT do not allow yourself to be invaded by negativity. Aint nobody got time fo that….

Third, you tripped over your own feet klutz, you don’t have a broken leg so laugh it off and move on. Do you really think you are the ONLY person to trip on a treadmill? Um no! You’re probably also the only person who noticed. This is not a crisis; don’t allow little things to become the giant elephant in the room. It’s the ole mountain out of a mole hill adage.

Forth don’t allow your words or attitude to bring down anyone else, that poor customer service person didn’t deserve a verbal back hand. Smile be happy and leave a trail of smiles in your wake. How do you want people to remember you? The jerk or the fantastic fabulous awesome person…. It’s your choice.

Same goes for fifth, remember to respect your elders even if they are driving27 mph in the fast lane. Someone that age use to bake you sugar cookies and spoil you rotten, so let the 27 mph thing go. Would you want someone giving the bird to your grandma? Does flipping off that poor woman really “fix” anything? Nope, just makes you look like a creep. Don’t be that gal.

Sixth, last but not least, leave your poor boyfriend alone. Don’t allow him to be part of your war path; don’t ever have a war path. Remember that he chooses to be with you because he loves you, he didn’t sign up to be your doormat. So love him, praise him and show him you love him. If you don’t, I’m sure there are plenty of other ladies out there who would. Now that’s not to sound all cat fight girl on y’all, it’s a simple fact. If you don’t treat people well, they won’t want to be around you.

You are in the ultimate control of your attitude and the way you treat people. Be aware of your words and your body language. The last thing anyone wants to do is push away those they care about or make them feel like itty bitty mice. LEAVE SMILES IN YOUR WAKE, be a light that draws people in. I know for me, when I can make someone smile it makes me feel good as well. It makes me happy… speaking of happy…

Welcome to The Happypaloosa Project… I’m making the commitment to myself to live a more upbeat, encouraging, laid back and exciting life….free of excess worry and constricting over-thinking. Today I choose to take the steps to breathe fresh invigorating happiness into my life.

As always, until next time,

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig