I’m Not Crazy I Just Stress A Lot

Image-1-2

Stress, we all have it, just some of us don’t know how to cope with it. Raise you hand if you replay over and over in your mind the argument you had with your bestfriend (raises her hand slowly). She was a jerk, you were a jerk, how dare she, what did I do, how can I fix it, she better apologize, friendship terminated….. it all plays over time and again in your mind. Forget the fact it happened 5 hours ago or 5 days ago or a year ago… you stress and worry it into the ground. Your stomach hurts, your heart races, you put on your grouchy pants, you’re distracted…. stress…. yuck. So I ask you, what does your stressed face look like?

Mine apparently is a mix between duck face and puppy dog eyes, scary right? I will be the first to admit that I let things stew inside my girl brain far longer than they should. I take things to heart, I wear said heart on my sleeve. Today is no exception, which is why it should come as no surprise that I found myself at the beginning of a stressed out whirlwind. I am a freelancer, which is sort of a love hate relationship. I love the fact I get to be my own boss, set my own hours, and meet lots and lots of amazing people. The bummer side of things is it’s really hard for me to disengage and sometimes (not very often) I have a client that just rubs me the wrong way. That happened to me today, I went from relaxed and carefree, to attack mode in about 2.3 seconds. Let me tell you I was hot and not in a fun sexy sort of way.

Don’t worry this isn’t where I launch into a rant session about how my client is this or that, to each there own. Poor B she gets to work at home in yoga pants and has a snuggly puppy for a coworker…. no no… nothing like that at all, I really do love my career. This story takes an unusual twist. Incoming stress, resulted in flared emotions, ended with me squashing it. That’s right, I squashed the thought process. Even a year ago I wouldn’t have thought this was possible. I was always a slave to my emotions. If I was angry… I was ANGRY. If I was sad…there weren’t enough tissues in the house. If I was happy… I sparkled like the sun. Every little thing impacted how I felt, until I had my ah hah moment…..

A consistant level of happiness is easily possible when you stop over-thinking and overreacting to everything.

Sure my client really ruffled my duck feathers, but it is what it is. When I felt my blood pressure begin to rise I simply thought to myself, “Nope, it’s not worth it.” Yes I may sound a little crazy talking to myself, but that’s exactly how I handled it. I simply refused to dwell on it and replaced the “growl I will maul your face” reaction with “Oh Chipotle sounds good for lunch” reaction. Here’s my point, you can choose your own thought process. You can either rage/worry/stress/attack/maul someone’s face or you can plan what you will be adding to your burrito bowl. What would you rather think about, delicious yummy heaven in a bowl or some email. I vote for the burrito bowl extra pico. Nommy!

The method I’ve been using to squash my stressing thought process is an easy one. Take a walk with me while I explain. It’s so easy even I can do it, which should tell you something. I call this method the Pretty Pretty Box Process….

  1. Set aside 20 min a day where you can be alone without interruption. (Interruption explained: children, ManFriends, friends, pets, cell phone, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…. you catch my drift) Put everything away so that it’s just you, yourself, and awesomeness.
  2. For the first 10 min stress your face off. That’s right, have a royal stressfest. Let your mind run rabid through all the junk that happened throughout your day. Really just embrace what rubbed you the wrong way. Write it down if that helps.
  3. For the final 10 min put on your rational cap. If there is something you can’t control (i.e. an idiot coworker or traffic jam) let it go. Those sandtrap stressors (defined as situation you can’t fix, change, or control… stressing about them will only cause you to sink lower and lower)  will do nothing but pull you down. If you can’t fix it, forget it. The tangible stressors (defined as something you can actually yourself come in contact with and fix) decide how to take care of them and do it. You can take care of the mountain on laundry overtaking your bathroom… easy peasy… do the laundry. Take care of what you can and forget the rest.
  4. At the end of the 20 min you are back in your relaxed mojo zone. If anything stressy creeps into your mind during non stress time, push them out of your mind and into your Pretty Pretty Box to worry about later. 20 a day, that’s all the stress time you get. If it’s not that 20 min period, wash it away. Think about a funny joke, dinner, ponies… I don’t care think about anything other than worry and stress.

I went from a chronic stressed out worry wart, to fairly chilled out. It’s still a daily training process. We are incredible creatures able to transform before our own eyes. Make it one day leading a less stressed life and I’m sure you will be hooked. Destress bit by bit, no one wants wrinkles or gray before their time. Smile lovelies, you are do this. What stresses you out the most?

As always until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

Advertisements

Dream A Little Dream…

Dream a little dream

Cinderella had them, The Little Mermaid had them, and so did every other princess in the history of princesses. They all, despite their flaws and setbacks, were courageous enough to dream. If a fairytale character made up of pastel colors and damsel in distress syndrome can do it, so can you. I dare you to dream a little dream…

Somewhere between being a little girl playing dress up in our mother’s high heals and being the bill paying adult, a little bit of the magic got lost. The world around us lost some of the wondrous amazement that kept us up as children, wondering about the stars and the creatures that go bump in the night. With the magic drained, we sometimes forget the beauty in a color packed sunset and the faith held within our deepest dreams. Dreams, the little butterflies that fly around our heart lifting us up into a place of hope and faith. A dream is a wish your heart makes….

What does your heart want? Yes the day to day can sometimes serve as a distraction, but underneath all of the ho hum, is the familiar flutter of your dreams. Forget about the bills, the deadlines, and what’s for dinner. For just a moment think about the dreams for your life. What makes your heart go pitter patter in a silly way? What image in your mind brings a lopsided 3 year old smile to your perfectly glossed lips?

Those dreams aren’t just child’s play, they are the building blocks of our future. Dreams serve to navigate us along the waters of happiness and energy. They help to remind us that even in moments of darkness, there is still light shinning from within us. Dreams complete the core of our beings, tied together with morals and substance. We are all at our center, dreamers. Dreamers, go getters, laughers, dancers, hardworkers…. we are all so very unique… but in so many regards we are all the same. We all just want to be happy.

What do your dreams say to you? Do you long for a lake to paint by or a corner office with an assistant named Jeeves? Embrace these dreams and use them as your map. You may not have exactly what your dreams blueprints require, but live your life piecing together that blueprint. It takes one spark, one line, one piece to get started. Don’t bottle your dreams up and put them on a shelf to be forgotten. Open them up and allow them to take form one magical moment at a time. Don’t expect instant gratification, I’m not selling you “Insta-Dream” just add water and stir…..poof dream realization. Enjoy the journey, live your dreams, share your warmth. If you’re willing to open up to your dreams, you dreams will be able to open up to you.

I want to encourage you to keep little notes, sketches, pictures, however your brain works, of your dreams. Maybe you long to own a house with stables, so you use EverNote to compile the perfect horse stables. Perhaps start a collection of recipes for when you open your cafe. Set aside even $1 dollar a day for your dream vacation to Ireland. Every step, every moment, will bring you one step closer to realizing your dreams. You can have whatever your heart desires if you are truly willing to embrace and move towards that dream. Dreams aren’t handed to us with a brightly colored bow, they are embraced and worked towards. The great thing is, when it comes to dreams, the “work” part is half the fun.

I would love to know what some of your dreams are, share in the comments.

As always until next time….

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

You Are What You Think

I’m sitting in my office staring out into a chilly, but beautifully sunshiny day. I could focus on the windchill or I could focus on the brilliant blue sky and bright ball of glowing sunshine. You see, this is a choice each of us are faced with each and every day. Is it windchill you focus on or the brilliant blue?

Life has a funny way of forcing us to look at each moment with either rose colored glasses or dark and stormy thunder clouds. What I feel we most often forget is, life is truly created by the choices we make. We are how we think. If you allow dark and stormy to rain on the parade of thoughts within you head, the world around you will have the same ongoing downpour. However, if you opt to imagine the world as a brilliant sparkling diamond, the world around you becomes a fantastic glimmer of light and warmth. The brilliant thing about light and dark, is that we all posses the choice. The choice to decide on the world we live in.

Truth be told no matter how much you try, you will never be able to control anything outside of yourself. You can’t micromanage others into the perfect happy bubble. Just like you can’t live a life of dancing and laughter if you brain is consumed with negative thinking vomit. That’s exactly what negative and controlling thoughts are, vomit. Vile acidy tidbits of nothing that seep through our thoughts tarnishing the good and corroding everything into a giant melting pot of upheaval. If you take away nothing else from this blogvice remember this, negative breeds negative and positive breeds positive. You’ve heard the saying, you are what you eat, I say… you are exactly what you think.

The bad, goodness knows that negative thought fairy is all around. Your car gets a flat tire, you get laid-off, your niece spills fruit punch down your favorite sweater, or your ManFriend is watching ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ for the 1,928 time this week. The negative fairy dancing on your shoulder is going to tell you that your day is destroyed because of that stupid flat tire. She’s going to tell you that you’re an ultimate failure because your boss let you go and not the nitwit three cubicles down. She’ll say that children are the spawns of satan because not even dry-cleaning will knock out that juice stain. She might even get your annoyed to the point of picking a fight with your ManFriend for having the nerve to mellow out and watch the same movie AGAIN. In short…. Negative Nancy Fairy is a twit who starts drama, kick her little fairy butt to the curb.

Now Penelope the Positive  Thought Fairy is a sassy diva. She’s all smiles and flies around trying to catch your eye with her sparkle, so that you ignore that other fairy. Penelope the Positive Thought Fairy leaves a trail of warmth and sparkle in her wake. She sees the flat tire as an opportunity to push up those sleeves and take charge or as a great reason to see ManFriend again before the work day begins. Flat tire + One more good morning kiss = perfection. She’ll remind you that a layoff is a brilliant opportunity to stretch your legs and see what other adventures are out there for you. She helps you see your niece as beautiful and amazing. She’s not perfect… but your life is truly a better place with her in it. You can buy a new sweater, but little kiddos are priceless. She will show you that ManFriend treats you well and bless his heart he likes to watch the same thing over again, what a perfect time to curl up with him and recite your favorite parts. In short, Penelope the Positive Fairy is your BFF, hold onto this one, she’s a keeper.

The truth is negativity weighs us down. It invades our thoughts forcing us to live in the past or the future. By doing this we aren’t enjoying what is happening right before our eyes. Worry, negativity, doubt, fear… they are all simply distractions. Distractions that you can choose to ignore. Sure it may sound like a daunting task, but truth be told it is really an exiting adventure. A way for you to live your life like a dance party instead of like a never ending lecture.  The choice is yours, shall you dance or shall you sit in a lecture of worry?

You are the queen of your thoughts, you direct your attention… so choose to focus on the amazing. It is a beautiful day outside, the sun in shining and the sky is a spectacular shade of blue. Find the good, forget the bad. Remember, our world is created by our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate our actions. Everything around you has good within it, look for it. Fill your head with so much love and positivity that you walk on cloud 9 each and everyday. If you feel a negative though creep into your mind, quickly replace it with something brilliant. Would you rather worry yourself into frown lines or tone that butt by dancing and your abs by laughing? Replace no no thoughts, with anything warm and fuzzy. Tell yourself you are amazing, remind yourself of a kind act you completed, laugh because laughter feeds the soul. You are the author of your story, create words that inspire not only others, but yourself. Be your biggest inspiration… and that begins with finding the good and positive in even the most trying situations.

Create the world your heart desires.

As always, until next time…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B's Sig

 

12 Days of Christmas Blogging: My Treasure is This Tall and Smells Like Boy

Welcome back lovelies, always wonderful to see your bright shinning faces. This time of year pretty much rocks my socks off. That’s right, rocks them off so you can see my adorable Christmas Tree mani.  The crispness in the air isn’t just cold, it’s hope. Crowded malls aren’t just long lines, but a shopping adventure of epic proportion in order to find the perfect gift. The house always smells like cookies, candles of course, because I can’t bake without causing a fire. Everything is all twinkles, glitter, and beautiful. It’s a time of year when it’s a little bit easier to get in touch with your inner itty bitty (child). That’s what I love most about this time of year, letting that little girl inside of me out to play for awhile, because man she gets cramped in this boring old lady boring adult body.

Today we are talking: Christmas Treasures. My greatest treasure is my little G Man…

Gabriel With Red Nose

He is without question the most genuine person I have ever met. The world changed when I met him and I couldn’t be more blessed that I get to be the one he calls mom. Truth be told I didn’t know love until he was born, I also didn’t know that something could smell pink until he was born. I know that sounds strange, but hey, normal is pretty boring. My life began that night in May, when I looked down at the most perfect creature I’d ever seen.

Now 6 years later I am more in love than I was then. Everyday I’m amazed by seeing the world through G Man’s eyes. He has the purest heart I could ever ask for in myself or anyone else. When he feels, he feels deeply. Those he loves, he guards with the strength of a gentle giant. He’s my hero. He’s my walking comedian. He’s my heart. I know he looks up to me, I’m mom, but what he doesn’t know is that I strive to be like him.

Lessons Learned From A 6 Year Old

  • Sing and sing often. Whatever the song in your heart, share it with the world. Shower, bathroom, dinner, car, playroom, bedroom, Target… anyplace. Share your song  and share it loud It’s okay if you’re off-key, most everyone else is too.
  • Forgive often and quickly. Without question G Man forgives everyone effortlessly. One day I asked him why he chooses to forgive and his response was simply, “Because Mommy, bad stuff happens sometimes, but you just have to say it’s okay.”
  • Never give up, ever. You may fall off your bike 100 times before you learn to ride without training wheels.  You may strike out your first 10 times at bat before your first home run. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. You won’t know your full potential (does this word make anyone else think of the movie Camp Nowhere?) until you’ve tried anything and everything.
  • Hug, lots of hugs. Do you ever notice that when you get a hug you feel better? A hug sure can go a long way to take the edge of. Try it. I’ve been on the verge of tears and a single hug somehow makes the world a better place.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask. You never know what the answer will be until you simply ask the question. Don’t assume the answer will be no, there are a whole heck of a lot of yes’s out there. You deserve to hear yes, so take a chance, and ask.
  • Play. I don’t care if you are 6, 60, or 600… get your bootie out there and play. Life is boring if you focus on only the day to day tasks. Why not make dinner prep more fun by singing and dancing. Say yes to game night with friends and family. Talk at dinner instead of being glued to your electronic distractions of doom. Life is what you make it, so make it playful.

On G Man’s first Christmas his father gave me this ornament, an innocent little guy holding a heart. It was like it had been carved just for me. A simple piece of art that embodied my exact joy of having G Man in my life. A little boy holding the heart of his momma.

photo-24

Truth be told, between you and me of course, I’m a better person today because of him. It’s amazing what you can learn from itty bitties if you simply open yourself up to it.

Who inspires you? I’d love to hear about, please share in the comments. Also if you haven’t joined this, 12 Days of  Blogging Link Up…. do it now. Share in the holiday extravaganza.

Until next time lovelies…

Keep it Sassy & Classy,

B